This is not a political blog, and while I’ve remained mostly quiet in public spaces, I have feelings about everything happening. I mean, who doesn’t? If you want to skip this post, you should look away now. If I lose some of you, I’m okay with that. But to say nothing on the subject feels too disingenuous.
I have big feelings about it—so big that I’ve begun mindfulness practices and imposed phone viewing limitations. When I’ve been in social groups recently, and we’ve briefly touched upon the subject, I’ve learned that I’m not alone in my strong feelings. As we all know, we are deeply divided along political fault lines.
For me, it feels like five-alarm energy regarding the present Republican administration and Congress as they engage in the daily dismantling of our country’s checks and balances. The firings of those who serve as our public watchdogs, the acquisition of our data, and the installation of uniquely unqualified chairs to manage key policing, military, and health positions seem to allow the present administration an opportunity to act without oversight.
Are people who voted for him worried? Is this what they bargained for when they went to the ballot box? I have seen some opinions bantered around on Facebook. Some people seem satisfied with what is going on. I don’t understand it, but I feel it’s essential to understand their points of view.
A Newly Minted Democrat
As a newly minted Democrat, as of 2016, I’m always surprised when I tune in to FNC and learn what the Radical Left Libs believe. Now that I am one, I can tell you that I don’t think most of the things they are reporting on. Yet, Trump, his Republican Administration, and fiery media brands are defining and amplifying my supposed views to the rest of the country. It seems to me they are spreading lies and untruths about my beliefs to serve their purpose and divide us. I understand that both sides do this, and I disagree with it.
And yet, a crazy part of our modern political experience is that we can’t discuss it because the division runs so deep between friends, neighbors, and families. And when it does come up, there are usually a few people in a group whose jaws tighten and bodies tense, making it clear that they have different political views from those being discussed. So, out of respect and the desire for peace, I often stop talking about it. Perhaps some in the group mentally unfriended them. I can’t say I’ve never wanted to unfriend those on the other side, but I don’t think that is good for any of us.
So we sit in book clubs, on hikes, at golf or pickleball, all avoiding discussing these big, essential world topics. In my long-time book groups, we’ve been through the loss of parents, cancer treatments, divorces, and many family hardships together. We’ve spoken openly about personal and emotional life-changing events, yet we can’t talk politics. It’s crazy, it seems wrong, and it is not serving us. How can we get out of this mess?
Can We Please Talk Politics
For me, the televised meeting with President Zelenskyy for the world to see was an extremely low day. I wanted to cry. If they are willing to bully a strong leader fighting for his people and country, how are they going to treat women? What example is that leadership behavior setting for our children, grandchildren, and overall culture? Are we turning our backs on our longtime allies (for many of us, these are our countries of origin) while the administration aligns with Russia? These are big fears for me, yet I can’t discuss them with the people I’ve been able to discuss almost any other topics.
Are we allowing cable news, social media channels, podcasters, and politicians to make enemies of those who believe differently? In many of Trump’s tweets and speeches, I am called a Radical Left Lunatic. Is that what my friends and neighbors think about me now? Sure, media and podcasters try to get clicks by reporting the outrageous, but having a leader loudly berate half of his own country is uniquely destructive. Why does he do it? I believe he does it because it seems to be working. Do we want to let this technique work in our country? These are just some of my many questions.
Is our collective need to belong so great that we have forgotten the moral values that have long guided each of us as individuals? I know we all have different opinions. I fear that forming bonds with a group by promoting a collective disdain for another group is not the correct path for us. Indeed, I do not want to subscribe to it, but I fear we are all being pulled into it.
These are such hard questions for me, and I apologize in advance to my book groups. I’m not sure that I can remain quiet any longer. But if I can’t stop myself, I promise to try to listen and not call you names. Sadly, that low bar seems to be a good start.
If you’ve read this far, don’t worry. My next post will be back to my regularly scheduled blog content. But if you ever want to talk openly about these topics and our country’s future hopes and direction, I am always available for a candid conversation.
11 Comments
Cheryl,
You are spot on! Very well said and I could not agree more!
Thank you for your honest, straight forward comments. The lines of open communication need to stay open!
I agree with you, Cheryl ❤️
As usual Cheryl, you have articulated beautifully. I especially admire your comment, “it’s essential to understand their points of view”. That’s not just a courtesy. It’s respecting and valuing others.
I also agree that we must continue to talk about our differences. It’s ok to “agree to disagree”. In fact that’s one aspect of democracy. I pray we will still be a democracy at the end of 4 years and the nation will be united. We can only achieve that through communication.
There have been times, when I’ve wanted a white board, where I can write out political pros and cons, definitions of democracy, and a political vision (from both sides) of what our society will look like in 4 years. At some point, I’m going to list markers of GNP, gas prices, interest rates, inflation, unemployment, crime rates, etc as of Dec 30, 2024 and compare them to Dec 30, 2028. (Hopefully I’ll get real numbers).
On a personal note, I won’t talk politics to someone who has an arrogant attitude. The “I’m right and you’re wrong” perspective has no value for me. Respect is way too important.
I often wonder how much fear plays on both sides of the aisle. Fear of change, fear of losing our democracy, fear of losing control, fear of an authoritarian government, all plays into the shouting matches in politics. The fears are real and they are strong. Which is why we must continue to communicate.
I’ll end this note with one of my favorite prayers.
Lord, please allow me to accept the things I cannot change.
The power to change the things that I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Thank you Cheryl for your hard work, your eloquent perspective and honesty.
💖 you!
Patsy, thanks so much for your thoughtful response. I agree, we really need to listen to each other. Who knows… what if listening to each other, and actually hearing each other, could lead to real change and new ideas. It seems to me that with all that has happened and continues to happen, it may be time for a reboot of our institutions and processes that can address todays issues. Not those of the past. It’s no secret that I lean more progressive. So healthcare and climate health are important to me. There are countries that have completed high speed, clean rail projects all while we’ve been fighting about how to get it done. There’s just so much that needs to be done yet political rhetoric keeps us fearful and divided instead of thoughtful and united.
Cheryl, I have always admired your writing. This is your best work. You captured what many of us feel. THANK YOU!
Beautifully said. The future of our country is a crucial issue and open dialogue essential.
I was bought up (in the 60’s and 70’s ..pretty turbulent times) when Politics and Religion were not discussed in polite conversation or at the dinner table. Everything has its place and its time to be heard. The world has become increasingly isolated due to technology, remote work. and frequent relocations from your hometown. We look for socialization in golf, hiking, pickleball and book groups to name a few. Perhaps these groups should be free from political discussions. The focus of these groups is on socialization and bonding over common interests instead of being a political forum. At their best they are a escape from the pressures of everyday life. There are plenty of political groups that encourage political discussions if that is what someone is looking for. Political discussion have become more difficult because our current politics try to cast everything in black and white. In reality, most of life is grey.
Thanks so much for this point of view, Janice. I really appreciate it. Your house sounds far more civilized than mine. There was a lot of heated discussion at our table…and they were on the same side 🙂 I agree, I don’t want our fun and friendly spaces to become heated debates that could affect friendships. But I do think we are in different times than the 60’s and 70’s. During that time we all had Walter Cronkite who operated under the ‘Fairness Doctrine’, which were laws passed after WWII to protect against the rise of propaganda. Those laws required that both sides of an issue be given equal air time. Unfortunately, those laws began to get chipped away at and by the early 2000’s completely went away. Hence the rise of a media climate that can be uniquely biased without any of us hearing both points of view. That coupled with algorithms has fostered a hyper partisan media climate, which I believe, has contributed to an unhealthy division among neighbors, friends and family. This has also allowed the rise of disinformation to flourish. Don’t worry I won’t be coming at you! I just want to illustrate how crazy it’s all become and I do hope that we can all do better, especially in our long time groups of discussing important things that affect all of our futures.
Thank you, Cheryl, for so beautifully expressing what so many of us have been feeling.
I keep wondering—can we create spaces for roundtable discussions where the goal is to truly listen and see the world through someone else’s eyes, in hopes of finding common ground? Personally, I’ve found a bit of peace by limiting my news intake—putting my phone on “Brick” mode and checking in just briefly with the most balanced sources I can find.
But it raises tough questions about how we navigate long-standing book groups and social gatherings. In my experience, staying silent often leads to assumptions about my beliefs—assumptions that go unchecked because no one asks. And often, I’m quiet not out of agreement, but because I don’t feel safe enough to speak.
After my cancer diagnosis, I had to reevaluate how I spend my time. Did I want to be in spaces where meaningful, respectful conversation wasn’t welcome? With people who didn’t want to know and accept me as I am?
I’ve been reflecting on Senator Lisa Murkowski’s comments about the climate in Congress. If even elected officials fear speaking out, what does that say for the rest of us? Isn’t our silence a missed opportunity to support the people trying to create change from within?
There have been some very low days. One of the hardest was reading President Trump’s Easter message and feeling the weight of being misunderstood simply because I identify as Christian. Do people think that because I’m a Christian that I agree with the things being said? That moment really shook me.
One bright spot I’ve found is The Builders Movement—a group working to encourage open, respectful dialogue. Maybe that’s a place we can start, right where we are, in our own communities.
Thanks so much for this thoughtful response, Janine. You bring up so many good points. A recurring theme seems to be fear. Fear of being unaccepted for different views. I held off sending this blog for over a month, mainly because airing my feelings might alienate both existing friends and new visitors. But eventually it felt too dishonest to say nothing. Based on the emotional responses, I am not alone in my need to communicate.
I absolutely love the idea of round table discussions. Wouldn’t that be amazing! I do follow The Builder’s Movement but maybe not as closely as I should. I will take a closer look based on your recommendation.
And thank you for sharing your feelings about being a Christian in today’s climate. I have heard similar sentiments from others but your illustration makes my understanding clearer. Ironically, as a person without a religious home, I find myself seeking spirituality in ways I haven’t for a long time.
Thanks again for taking the time to be vulnerable. I really appreciate it.